18 May 2015


I think a lot about how weird it is to be a human.

We are tossed onto this planet that we are not even remotely physically capable of surviving on. That's weird.

These thoughts come to me at seemingly random times, like when I am putting tinted transparent plastic on my face because my weak little human eyes are pained by the light of our own sun.  What kind of planet makes life forms whose weak little eyes can't stand the light of the sun they need to survive?

Animals have it going on. They have adaptations that get the job done. Fur, claws, wings. Multiple stomachs, infrared vision, sensitivity to Earth's magnetic fields. Don't even get my started on mantis shrimps and Tardigrades. THEY CAN LIVE IN THE FUCKING VACUUM OF SPACE. I FREAK OUT IF I FORGET MY FLIPPY FLOPPIES AND HAVE TO WALK BAREFOOT BACK TO MY ROOM AFTER A SHOWER.

Why in Darwin's name would evolution throw a tiny, naked ape onto the surface of the earth and expect him to survive? Well, its because we didn't get fur, we got the ability to make snow suits. We didn't get binocular vision, we got to invent actual binoculars. Instead of direct physical adaptations to survive, we got the ability, and the attitude, to one-up nature by creating our own adaptations.

That is the human legacy, to take the shit hand we're dealt by nature, and transcend it and survive anyway.

(Of course, it is also the human legacy to go totally overboard and just NOT FUCKING STOP. (See: Slavery, Capitalism and The "Final Destination" Movies.) But that's a different topic.)

When I look at the world through this lens, it occurs to me that the most natural thing humans do is create ways to overcome limits imposed by the natural world. Its our special skill and its, ironically, what nature bred us to do. No fur coat? That's okay, I made a fur coat. And now I won't die. THANKS, BIG OL' BRAIN.

With that in mind, it makes no sense to me when opponents of homosexuality and trans lifestyles, sorry, bigots, say that being gay or trans or poly is not natural.  Excuse me? Putting aside the many well-documented examples of homosexual behaviors in the animal kingdom, expanding what we are, who we want to love and how we want to have sex beyond puttin' the peepee in the hoohah, is the most natural thing for humans to do.

Maybe in most species, most of the time, "sex" is penis-in-vagina sex (and fuck, I'm not a scientist, that might not even be true). Fine. But us humans were like. Okay, but what else could I do with my vagina to feel good? Let's try THAT. Where ELSE could I put my penis to feel AWESOME? What if that person of whatever gender I happen to go for and me could be in love and NOT EVEN HAVE SEX? LET'S FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN, HUMANS.

And guess what? We did! And its great!

I'm not saying every instance of non-heteronormative sex and love was a conscious decision by specific people to try something new. I'm saying, writ large, human kind naturally evolved wider and broader definitions of gender, sex, love, and identity than we are aware in the rest of the natural world. (Although we don't know, do we? That male lion with the big ol' mane might feel very femme. How would we know? And that's super cool! And I think that would be a great animated movie! Get on it, Internet!)

And to me, that means being trans is the MOST natural, most human thing you can be.   Our very natural human ancestors once said, You're going to make me live in Siberia and not give me a thick fur coat? FINE. I'm gonna invent fire, and clothes, and houses and hot cocoa. SUCK IT NATURE.

How is that any different from nature putting a woman in a man's body, and humans going, Wow, what did I ever do to you, nature? THANKS. That's fine, we'll invent hormone therapy, and support systems, and families, and friends, and lovers, and clothing of all shapes and sizes, and medical procedures that all help me to be exactly the person I want to be. SUCK IT NATURE.  WE WIN AGAIN.

Am I over simplifying things? YES. Because this is an overly-simple matter.

Being trans, queer, asexual, poly, tall, short, good at karate, ANYTHING, is the most natural and awesome thing for a human to be. Next time someone bitches about what's "natural", strip them of their smart phone, their synthetic fabrics, their house, their fire that didn't come from random-ass lighting strikes, and their organized religion (because I've never seen that growing on a tree) and tell them to call back later.

But, you know, literally call, like shout. But not with words. Humans invented those too. Not natural.